Lamps Blowing up in People's Houses
by Silver Dragon 2488
Summary: I was really sick one night and so I wrote this with the help of my friend Amber in my state of delusionalness CH 2
1. Rent and Girl Scouts

*A cheerleader pops out of nowhere and then starts to introduce the fic. The RHS band gets mad and then runs her over with the sousaphone players choking her with their instruments and the snares doing rimshots while everyone else steps on her* (me)*Ahem* HEEEEEEEEELLLO!!!!!!!!! I am slightly delerious (Amber coughes in background, "Bull kuso. Bull kuso.") *author looks evilly at Amber then waves it off* Well, I've been sick all day (and with the throwing up a lot) and as I was talking to Amber (who I give half credit to for the "plot" of the story) (I wrote it down on a envelope. You know... "Envelope" is a funny word...) Warning-this has NO PLOT WHAT-SO-EVER!!! *gets insane look on face* Nyahahahahaha...waffles. So, please enjoy this weird thing that I wrote while banging my head on my foot. *gets up and dances in background* *singing* La la la...I'm in love with Shamuzami!!  
  
Disclaimer: *starts smoking a band joint (which in fact is a tiny blue candle)* I don't think I own anything. *stares absently* LOOK! FLYING EMUS!!  
Lamps Blowing Up In People's Houses  
Everyone was happily picking flowers in an open field with grazing osrtiches when Shippo declared, "I want to learn the awesome art of Tai- Kuan-Cheese!!"  
  
Everyone gasps.  
  
Shippo runs off to spar his Tai-Kuan-Cheese abilities with a nearby penguin master.  
  
Then, Sesshy-chan comes out in a landlord's outfit and declares to the rest of the flower-picking people, "You punks haven't paid you're rent! I demand a cheesy shrubbery from you right now!!!"  
  
The gang stands up and starts singing, "We're not gonna pay..We're not gonna pay... We're not gonna pay LAST YEAR'S RENT! THIS YEARS RENT! NEXT YEAR'S REEEEEEEEEEEENT!!!"  
  
*curtian falls and audience claps. Jaken, who came out of nowhere, was stuck under the curtian*  
  
Meanwhile, everyone looks over and sees a girraffe doing Kagome's homework. Everyone sweatdrops and throws darts into a nearby dartboard.  
  
Suddenly, Kikyo poofs into a suramic squirrel outfit. Shippo calls over and says, "Look! It's Kikyo!"  
  
Now that Kikyo's plan was unfoiled, she glared at Inu-Yasha and cried, "Someday, Inu-Yasha. Someday, I'll be in your tree. And I'll be doin' stuff."  
  
"STUFF?!?! In my tree?!?! NEVER!!!"  
  
Then, Carrot from "Sorcerer Hunters" poofs out of nowhere and sees Kagome. He goes over to her and asks, "Hey, babe! Wanna a quiky with-"  
  
A flash from Inu's hand comes out which turns Carrot into an actual carrot. Gateu, (spelling?) comes out in a speedo and yells, "LOOK AT ME!!!"  
  
Everyone goes blind.  
  
Author comes and then takes a bendy straw and deflates Gateu's muscles, then he cries/whimpers, "Don't look at me!" and shies away into a nearby pool of tobasco-sauce.  
  
Miroku edges over to Sango and then his hand rests on Sango's shoulder. Then, it travels lower, and lower, and then..  
  
Miroku gets turned into a chicken. Miroku looks up flabberghasted and asks, "What happened to the Hirakatsu? B-CAAAAAAW!!"  
  
"I though this was more effective. ^^" Sango said as she blew the smoke from the Morphing Ray from that game that I forget the name of.  
  
Then, Naraku beams down in a sophisticated way and says, "Inu-Yasha."  
  
Inu-Yasha stops picking wildflowers and looks up. "Yes?"  
  
"I...am your father's uncle's brother's cat's vet's sister-in-law's roomate's cousin's brother's third-cousin twice removed."  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Inu-Yasha cries out in agony.  
  
"But what does that make you two? B-CAAAAW!!" Miroku asked while pecking at the morphing ray, which went off and turned an ant into a chicken.  
  
Naraku thought a while. "ABSOLOUTELY NOTHING!!!!" he went and then jumped into a rose bush and started to smell the roses while singing, "Out of my window, looking in the night, I can see the barges flickering lights. Starboard shines green and port is glowing red, I can see them flickering far ahead." *everyone now joins in singing the Girl-Scout song* "Baaaarges, I would like to go with you. I would like to sail the ocean blue. Baaaaarges, have you treasure in your hold? Do you fight with pirates brave and bold?"  
  
While the Girl Scouts are singing, Yoda beams down and then hands Shippo a sword. "Completed your training you have! Hack things down you must!!" He laughs uncontrollably and then uses the force to bring himself a coke.  
  
Shippo goes crazy and starts yelling, "BANANAS AND BUTTERFLIES SWIRLING ABOVE MY HEAD!! WAFFLE-MEN FROM MARS COMING TO TAKE THE WORLD SUPPLY OF TOENAILS!!!"  
  
Then, they all run into the sunset while Shippo is hacking away at the local landscape carving "Z's" into them. He then yells out, "Well if you'n ain't the granddaddy of all liars! The little creaturs of nature don't know they're ugly! A fly marrying a butterfly? That's very funny. I TOLD YOU I'D SHOOT!! WHY DIDN'T YOU BELIEVE THAT I'D SHOOT?!?!  
  
Meanwhile...  
  
All of the lamps in Kagome's house explode.  
  
The End.  
  
************************************************************  
  
Told you I was delirious. My mom says I have a fever. *starts laughing for no particular reason* Thank you Amber for letting me vent my hyperness/delusionalness by helping me create this weird thing I wrote. And, watch the barns. Something bad always happens in barns... *looks around skeptically then falls unconcious* Penguins... and toes ruling the Taj-Ma-Hall in perfect harmony. *starts to drool* 


	2. Carrots and marshmallows how nutritious

I never knew it could happen. But, alas, I am writing a second chapter to this… story… yeah. Not much to say right now, except that I am actually not delirious this time. ::audience gasps:: I know. Strange, huh?

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Lamps Blowing Up in People's Houses

Part 2

…Yes…

Inu-Yasha has a turkey named Norman. Norman is a samurai. Sess is jealous of Inu-Yasha because his own pet, Veronica the hamster, died because Mr. Snuffles, Inu-Yasha's 87-year-old dog, ate her. Sess vows vengeance via marshmallows.

One day, while Kikyo is using her limbs to make a fire for the cookout she was holding, Kaede decides that this is a good time to show off her hula-dancing skills at the cookout. She does so, and Miroku, who is now in his human form, is blinded.

Suddenly, they turn and discover that Kagome is a carrot. Inu-Yasha does not see this and begins to chew on her. Kagome, seeing that her legs are being gnawed off, screams, "I WANT A PONY!!" in order to get Inu-Yasha's attention. Alas, this fails.

Sango finds a lamp in her hair. Shippo, wanting reading light for the book he was reading, turns it on, thus setting Sango's hair on fire. Shippo nods and says, "With my trusty Sango Lamp, I can read whenever I want." Shippo does not notice the screams from Sango behind him.

Sango, her hair now nothing but a wisp of ash, goes over to Random Person Number One, and asks with a solemn face, "Do you know how to make green Jell-O?" Random Person Number One looks at her and replies, "Do you know where my elephant went?" Sango nods and points to Inu-Yasha, who is still gnawing on Kagome the carrot.

Then, out of nowhere, Sessho-Maru runs around the group with pocky, proclaiming that he is the prettiest butterfly. Inu-Yasha stops gnawing on the Kagome-carrot and nods sagely. "Sessho-Maru IS the prettiest butterfly," Inu-Yasha decides and then begins to preach this to others.

Haku, from Spirited Away, comes up with paper-machet wings attached to his back and says, "I AM THE PRETTIEST BUTTERFLY!!!"

Sessho-Maru turns, growls, and then says, "You are not the prettiest butterfly!! You sir, are a wad of pork chops!" Haku is offended and charges at Sessho-Maru like a bull, his paper-machet wings now crumpled to use for his ears.

Naraku is walking in the park with his pet monkey Bobo. However, Bobo and Naraku are felled because they fall into a random hole in the ground. Inu-Yasha sees them fall, and goes over to the lip of the hole where Naraku and Bobo are trying to get out.

"Help me!' Naraku pleads, holding out his hand for Inu-Yasha to grab, to which Inu-Yasha looks at. He then smiles, and hands Naraku a piece of broken string. "Get out soon and let the mud pies guide you." Naraku looks at the string, and then throws it to Bobo, who in turn uses it to tie his tail up. Naraku, depressed at his predicament, turns to a corner and cries. He then proclaims, "I shell never see my collection of Mighty Muffins ever again."

Sango, now sad for her lack of hair, goes over to the blind Miroku for help. "I lost all my hair, Miroku! Can you help me please?" Miroku nods, and pours water over her head. Since she is a chia pet, it grows back.

Sessho-Maru and Haku, engrossed ion an epic battle for the title "The Prettiest Butterfly" decide that fist fighting will not do the job. So, they conclude that they should have a battle of talent. Haku goes into his bat cave to ponder and Sessho-Maru comes out with his energy whip.

"I am going to have synchronized swimmers while I do my ribbon dance," he explains, warming for his routine. Then, the battle begins.

Meanwhile, Naraku farted. Bobo, unable to stand the horrid stench, dies. Naraku is sad. He then uses poor Bobo as a ladder and climbs out, suddenly realizing that there was a ladder to his back. He curses, and goes and gets a snow cone.

During this, Kagome is trying to free herself from the cursed carrot body. Inu-Yasha, since he has left on a pilgrimage, has not been able to chew on her. She wriggles around to find Kaede, still in her hula outfit. Kagome screams in mental agony, and Kaede looks down and smiles.

"I am your fairy godfather!" she proclaims and whips out her trusty magic wand, which is in fact a Twizzler. She then begins to sing her magic spell. "Ramen pizza, chicken pocky, all those great snacks in the lobby! Ravioli, big canoli, broken lunch box, have no money!"

Then, as a result of the spell, Kagome transforms into a slug. She curses her predicament and then goes out to chew on beaver tails.

Shippo, the Tai-Kuan-Cheese master, approaches the dueling Sessho-Maru and Haku, for they remind him of when he was a little girl. (o.O) In his nostalgia, he doesn't notice Sessho-Maru's energy whip and gets catapulted into space, where he landed on Saturn. "What a lovely place," he said as the aliens are about to shoot him.

Meanwhile, back on earth, Sango's headlamp explodes again, making her hair burn up again. She curses the headlamp and goes out for chicken.

The end.

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I wish to thank Krinda-chan for inspiration on this chapter… yes. Believe it or not, no drugs, sugars, or illnesses were used to influence the writing of this chapter. Just good old insanity and talk of anime.

Beware of barns.

Ja ne!


End file.
